Imperfect Sky
by Shiro Ryuu
Summary: A history of Rosiel and Katan, mostly from Katan’s perspective, from Katan’s birth to the final battle. Obviously this will eventually contain spoilers for pretty much the whole series, but only book three so far. Possible shonen ai in later chapters.
1. Name

**Disclaimer: **It's far too late at night to come up with anything particularly witty, so I'm afraid I'll just have to leave it at 'it's not mine'. I know how bitterly disappointed you all are.

**AN: **These two are _so _cute. Do I need any other excuse? Heh... I always wondered what happened to Katan after Rosiel left him there, in nothing but a sheet no less... The strongest warning for this chapter would be for, er, that last sentence? Just fluff for now. And some blood, I suppose. (Is it even long enough to be called a 'chapter'...?) Spoilers for book three. Kudos totally go to black-ocean for the history idea; everybody should go read her history of Zaphikel and Anael! I would never have been ambitious enough to take this on without her example, so, nervous grin, I really hope she doesn't mind me nicking her idea... (bow, bow, grovel) I'll take it down if you mind, just let me know!

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**Chapter One: **Name

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_The one who leads - "Katan." That will be your name..._

* * *

The newest child in Heaven stared, mouth agape, after that blinding presence for a long time after it had vanished from sight. By the time he realized that the instinct for flight was already inside him, he knew that there was no chance of following - following the 'thirst in his soul'...

_He_! He was partially distracted from this bittersweet rapture by his sheer wonder at his surroundings - at _having _surrounding. 'Grass', the shining being had called it, and 'trees'. His finger throbbed unpleasantly, but when he untangled it from the folds of cloth (and what a fragrant smell rose from that cloth, though he wouldn't have known to call it that), he was enthralled by the bright, clean red beads - beads of 'reality,' beads of 'pain'...

"Hey! You!"

The boy started visibly at the sound, and laid eyes upon this new angel. The man was obviously an angel, he could see the divine radiance inside him, but - Katan frowned lightly - the radiance paled nearly to nothingness in comparison to that of the _other _angel. He blinked curious fawn eyes up at the older angel's irate expression.

"_What _are you doing here?-! You know this area is restricted to high-" The man's eyebrows drew together in confusion, and mild disgust, as he looked Katan up and down. "...What happened to your clothes?"

Katan shrank back slightly on an impulse. This angel... he was probably one who had made wishes on grigor... and these odd questions, in such a loud voice, he didn't understand...

The man gave an exasperated sigh, and grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's get you out of here... Don't be so disrespectful; answer me. What's your name?"

Ah, _that _he understood! The boy brightened, and learned as he did it what it was to 'smile'. "Katan."

**TBC**


	2. Etemenanki at Atziluth

**Disclaimer: **And this time, it's far too early in the morning; I haven't even had my coffee yet! I write at odd times, ne...? Oh yeah, and Angel Sanctuary ain't mine.

**AN:** Does anyone read the quarter-panel notes besides me? I mean, a boiled egg? About all you can really say to that is '...huh...' Also, isn't it cute how Katan is _always_ trying to get to Etemenanki at Atziluth? Don't worry if that doesn't make sense, since it's a reference to book 18 or somewhere around there... Spoilers and warnings about the same for this chapter, I think (book three and nothing, respectively, sweatdrop).

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**Chapter Two: **Etemenanki at Atziluth

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_If you wish to meet me, come to Etemenanki at Atzuiluth. When you do, you will be free to thank me, or curse me, as you wish..._

* * *

For the first week or so after his 'birth', Katan was given temporary quarters while the other angels searched, in vain, for someone to whom he belonged. As he had nothing to do in that time, he was more than a bit bored, and he found it rather depressing to wonder if life was always like this. The other angels always seemed so busy, but he couldn't quite understand with what...

They had asked him repeatedly, that first day, where he had come from. At first he tried to tell them about that amazing one who had shone more brightly than any of them, but he couldn't think of the words, and by the time he could, he was feeling strangely like he didn't want to. He wasn't sure if he liked the way that he wanted to keep that vision all to himself, but there it was. All they ever managed to figure out was that he had seen a bright light, and couldn't remember anything before that.

He had had some questions for them, too, of course. Besides from his burning desire to learn absolutely everything, they were most bemused by his incessant inquiries about how to get to 'Etemenanki at Atziluth'... Unfortunately, they were only able to confirm his suspicions that it would be very difficult indeed.

After the initial excitement wore off, however, the other angels became much too busy to give him any more answers. For the first few days he despondently wandered the gardens, hoping against hope that another miracle would occur, but in the end his insatiable thirst led him to a place he was told was called a 'library.'

The sheer bulk of the materials stunned him, and he staggered through the shelves with his neck craned back to take it all in. It was wonderful, but at the same time it was agonizing; how was he ever supposed to find what he needed?

All in all, it was lucky that he noticed the person before he bumped into her. He stared up at her, opening his mouth once or twice, but the words wouldn't come. She merely smiled, and he thought it was a very pretty smile, but somehow sad.

"Can I help you find something?"

He gaped helplessly. "You – you can help me find-?"

"Books," she elaborated. "What books are you looking for?"

"Books about Etemenanki at Atziluth, please," he said eagerly. "I need to get there."

She arched an eyebrow above the wire rim of her glasses. "Do you now...?" She hesitated, but after a moment she just shook her head and led the way.

Mana's life story was, incidentally, rather unremarkable. She had been terribly _average_ all through school, and she was nothing much to look at, so while she'd always dreamed of the soaring heights of Etemenanki – because that was what all good little angels were supposed to dream about – in the end she'd just wound up working here. Katan didn't know any of this, of course, but he did know that she looked rather sad, so he held her hand while she guided him through the labyrinth of books, and when she went to leave, he smiled and said 'thank you.' If she had been human, she might have described the sensation as being smiled upon by an angel.

Katan soon found that all the books in the building were not enough to sate his desire. After coming back for several days in a row, however, he found the name of the one who ruled over Atziluth. On a hunch, he asked about him, and was told with reverence that this man was the most glorious angel in Heaven.

The 'thirst in his soul' was now named Rosiel-sama. This, he discovered, only served to focus his determination.

**TBC**


	3. Child

**Disclaimer: **Okay, everybody needs to go out and buy U2's CD 'All That You Can't Leave Behind', like, now. NOW, my little reading monkeys. (cackle)

**AN: **(sniffle)Aw, so far this story has been less popular than I had hoped, sweatdrop. But then, I guess most people don't get very many reviews in this fandom, it's too small... Plus, heh, everybody writes Rosiel/Katan fics. Or maybe I'm just making excuses, and it's just kind of crappy...? Oh well, I'll keep posting anyway :P Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Anyhoo... I actually wrote chapter four before I wrote this, sweatdrop. Let's hope it fits... No warnings to speak of (will there ever be...?), and more spoilers for book three (it's one of the best ones for Rosiel/Katan fluffiness, let's face it).

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**Chapter Three: **Child

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_You've surprised me. You've come so far. You are indeed my child..._

* * *

"Y-your child...?" Katan remembered staring in awe at that face, and thinking that, out of all the sculptures and paintings he'd seen of God, he'd never once witnessed such a tender expression... He had felt his nerves soothed in an instant, but at the same time he hadn't been able to look for very long. He'd stared at the floor instead as he'd bowed formally and stammered out: "T-thank you!" It had sounded glaringly simple to him, and suddenly he'd wanted to tell this man about all of the wonderful things he'd experienced since they'd last met. He had thought Rosiel understood, from the way he had chuckled.

"You're thanking me, eh...? Well, I'm glad. Listen, you'd better go now, but I'll see you again soon." He had grinned rather mischievously at that point. "Go ahead and tell them that I gave you a _terribly_ stern talking-to, won't you?"

* * *

Katan spent much of the rest of the day feeling happier than he'd thought possible, replaying the scene over and over again in his head. _"...I'll see you again soon..." _He didn't pay hardly any attention to what was actually being said at the Supreme Council meeting he was there to watch, but kept his eyes locked on Rosiel the entire time. The older angel didn't look his way once, but he didn't mind.

During study period that evening, he didn't even realize he was staring into space until a hand clapped down on his shoulder, and he jumped guiltily. He relaxed in relief a moment later, however, when one of his friends pulled up a seat next to him.

"Wow, Katan, 's this stuff even too boring for _you_? It must be a miracle... Or maybe you're just-" the other boy imitated quote marks with his fingers for emphasis, "-in _love_?"

Katan gaped at him. "Hey, don't say stuff like that!" he whispered urgently. "I'd never-"

"Aw, come on." The boy laughed lightly. "Where's your sense of humor? You sure were thinking hard about something, though."

He grinned shyly. "Oh... I'm just happy that I got to watch the Council meeting."

His friend rolled his eyes as he leaned dangerously far back in his chair. "_Geez_... Remember me when you're the Prime Minister, m'kay?"

Katan laughed. "Oh, I wouldn't want that... not at all..."

It hadn't meant much at the time, but as he tossed and turned that night, he thought – among many other things – about that conversation. Was it really so odd that all he wanted was to serve this man to whom he owed such a great debt? Just why was it that he would willingly choose to be a servant, rather than a master...?

It wasn't as if he was frightened of the responsibilities of, say, being the Prime Minister – far from it. To serve Rosiel-sama as perfectly as he wished to was a responsibility in of itself... But, he reasoned, what was really the point of being the Prime Minister, anyway? Why would he selfishly want everybody to love him, when he would probably never know any of them? Or, more to the point, how could _he_ ever love everybody as much as a ruler should, when he could only think about one specific person...?

As he watched the moon pass across the width of his window that night, Katan had an odd feeling that his life was about to change again – a change that would somehow be just as all-encompassing as receiving a corporeal form, in its own way. It really was like being born all over again, because he had a notion that he was on the very brink of his _real_ life...

**TBC**


	4. Songbirds

**Disclaimer: **(singing along like an idiot to music on headphones) Huh? What? I can't heeeaaar you :P

**AN: **Totally nicked the singing idea from Kasigi Omi's 'Soothing Notes'... and, heh, my fic 'Kichigai no Harvest Moon'... and my other fic 'Blight My Eyes' a little bit, too... I guess I found the concept really inspiring? (sweatdrop) The quote at the beginning is from a poem in vol. 19 – which also happens to be the source of this story's title – but other than that, no spoilers, and warnings for one kiss - on the cheek :P Y'know, really, Rosiel kisses _everybody _in the manga - Katan, Metatron, Lucifer... Oops, uh, are the author notes exempt from spoiler warnings? Too late...

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**Chapter Four: **Songbirds

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_I wish to embrace you, and sing from my mouth the song I remember..._

* * *

Not three days after the meeting, Katan found himself appointed as an aid to none other than the great Inorganic Angel. No one could seem to fathom it, even if he was a genius student, which only made him more giddy. Even though he had no idea what work would be required of him, or even what Rosiel was really like as a person, he was convinced at that time that he would never be unhappy again.

As it turned out, Katan was overjoyed to find that Rosiel was even better than he'd dared to imagine (in spite of his unexpected mischievous side). He was a fair master who respected his abilities without ever overworking him, but it was so much more than that. He was truly the most beautiful person Katan had ever seen, full of gentle grace, and he always said exactly the right thing in his melodious voice - and most importantly of all, he shone with a radiance that had nothing to do with these external things, and made the sun look like the moon...

Katan had long since learned about the four seasons found on Assiah, but in Heaven time was permanently locked somewhere between spring and summer, and the plants all grew in perfect health even though it hardly ever rained. On exceptionally fine days, if there wasn't too terribly much work to do, the pair would take their lunch out in Rosiel's personal garden. Katan was secretly amused to find that Rosiel had the worst sweet tooth he'd ever seen, to the point that he hardly ever ate a proper meal. The elder often joked that he would spoil the boy with his bad example, but neither of them really minded.

After one such meal, Katan lay back in the soft grass to watch the clouds and grinned blissfully to himself as Rosiel, reclining next to him, played with the boy's hair in an absent-minded fashion as he was wont to do. Flowers perfumed the air and birdsong drifted down from the trees, and Katan was finding it quite hard not to fall asleep in the warm sunlight.

Suddenly, the hand on his head ruffled his hair affectionately and withdrew. "Hmm," Rosiel commented, stretching luxuriously - and then he gave Katan a playful look, though there seemed to be something more implied. "The birds sing splendidly, don't they? Have you ever tried to sing?"

Katan colored slightly, concerned about where he was _sure_ this was going. "Ah... once or twice... I don't think I'm really all that good, though."

Rosiel propped himself up on his elbow, chin resting on his palm, and smiled. "May I be the judge of that?"

So, though he was blushing worse than ever with nervousness, Katan moved to sit up, cross-legged, and sang. How could he possibly say no? He sang a song about the meek inheriting the earth that they had both heard from the Heavenly choir last Sunday, gradually gaining confidence as he went. When he was done, Rosiel looked oddly pensive, but he nodded his approval.

"Much better than the birds," he said, and Katan could swear his heart skipped a beat from happiness, ridiculous or not. "Thank you. You know, it reminded me of the way I always imagined she might-"

He broke off then, shaking his head as if to clear it, and chuckled softly. "But never mind. We should probably go in-"

Rosiel began to get up, but he stopped when he felt a tug on his robe. Katan stared up at him with wide eyes. This time he was nervous beyond blushing; he had gone white at the realization that he had actually acted on the sudden impulse. When Rosiel merely smiled in a bemused but encouraging way, he got up to nerve to say, "Do you – that is, I'd – I'd like to hear you sing..."

The sight of the boy, looking down and biting his lip, miserable in the embarrassing certainty that his request would be denied, was really just too much. Rosiel laughed – and then he sang.

It was a song without words, though the emotions behind it were plain. It was hard to say if the sound was even coming from the angel's mouth; he seemed to draw music from the nature around them, from the throats of the birds and the wind in the trees. It was plaintive enough to make the heart burst, all about longing from something that you'd never even properly seen...

When he finished, he noticed for the first time that Katan was crying. That seemed to be enough to snap him out of his thoughts; he hurriedly leaned forward and grasped the boy lightly by the shoulders. "I'm sorry – it was really much too sad for a nice day like this-"

Katan hurriedly wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and offered up a shaky smile, sniffling. "No... It was beautiful. You shouldn't have said I sing well, Rosiel-sama; you're so much better than me..."

Rosiel seemed puzzled, and he frowned lightly. "Now, now – you should listen more closely. Your song had a soul to it." And he kissed the boy on the cheek, because the way it got him flustered never ceased to amuse him. "Now we _really_ need to go in."

**TBC**


	5. Bipolar

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never will be, not making a profit off of this in any way, may I be squashed by stampeding elephants and gobbled up by ravenous wolves if I ever do, etcetera, etcetera...

**AN:** (tears) So, I finished reading the series finally... And, y'know, it all pretty much makes sense. _Except _for whatever happened to Rosiel and Katan T.T I _would_ end up confused about my favorite characters... So, does anyone out there get it? Could you explain it to this poor feeble mind, pretty please? Like, what Setsuna saw at the end, was that some kind of vision, or for real? (Trying not to give anything away, for those who haven't read it all...) What exactly did Alexiel do to Rosiel, if what Setsuna saw was for real? I don't know how I'm going to write the last chapter of this if I don't figure this out... Heh, not that that's anywhere in sight at this point... But on another note, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, especially those who reviewed the last chapter (Mariusvampyr and Inorganic-Pain), because those were the best responses I've had yet :) I still kind of don't know about this story, but for you guys, I'll try to keep working on it! Sorry all the chapters are so short, it's no way to repay you and I really have no excuse... BUT anyhoo, spoilers for book three, no warnings, you know the drill.

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**Chapter Five:** Bipolar

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_I feel as if Rosiel-sama is calling me. Somewhere... alone... Rosiel-sama is crying..._

* * *

It was a fine, cool night and his bed was invitingly soft, but after what he had just witnessed, Katan severely doubted he would be able to fall asleep again. He had woken up with this feeling, deep down inside, that something was terribly wrong... He had had no idea that Rosiel-sama was capable of crying.

"_You know, Katan, I have an older sister – a twin... She and I are like positive and negative. We can't exist in the same place... we must never meet or come in contact with each other!"_

Katan just couldn't understand a bit of it. Why would the Creator order such a thing, especially when it made Rosiel so sad? He thought the Creator loved Rosiel... And even if she was jealous, how could this sister possibly hate someone like his Rosiel-sama?

All he knew for certain was that he'd really hated to see Rosiel cry. He'd felt like crying himself, and had only restrained himself because it wouldn't have been fair. It wouldn't have helped at all if he'd broken down too, when Rosiel was the one who needed comforting... he wanted to help...

He tossed and turned in bed, kicked the sheets off, pulled them back on, knocked the pillow to the floor by accident and had to get up to get it again... It was the most frustrating thing ever, this sleeplessness. If only he could come up with something that would make Rosiel feel better, even for a little while; make him laugh – couldn't he come up with anything original, was he really good for nothing but taking orders? But the hollow feeling in his stomach was telling him that there was really nothing he could do anyway...

On an impulse he slipped out of bed and padded over to his window, as if the moon could answer his questions. He wondered idly why everyone liked to stare at the moon so much, anyway, when really it was dead inside. Somehow... he felt like Rosiel was still crying, just more quietly than before...

His feet pulled him into the hall in spite of his more reasonable intentions, and he followed the cold tile path striped with moonshine and shadow. He'd been in Rosiel's chambers before, of course, but for some reason they seemed frightening in the dark.

He heaved a sigh of relief, however, when he found the man sleeping peacefully, laying on his back and hugging a pillow loosely to his chest while his hair flowed around him like a million golden rivers. He looked so calm and content in his sleep that Katan wondered how he could have ever thought he was feeling sad.

The young angel was mildly surprised to find that he had started crying. Ah, well... he'd held it in as long as he could...

As he stared at Rosiel through blurry eyes, he found himself wishing – not exactly that he had kept his pain to himself, but that he hadn't had any pain, that he could have remained his perfect, strong mentor... It was horribly selfish, and he firmly pushed the desire away as he resolved that, hopeless or not, he would do everything he could to ease this pain. Someday, _surely_, Rosiel-sama would be happy again; he would see to it.

**TBC**


	6. Stay

**Disclaimer: **Y'know, if we lived in a communist country, then _no one _would own _anything_, technically, theoretically, I think. I would explain in depth how this is relevant, but... well... Mmm, chocolate...

**AN: **Pushing through writer's block to come up with this one. Not to mention Geology homework-induced nervous breakdowns; my sensei is a sadist _and_ a moron. I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad about this chapter; after this point there will be fewer opportunities for fluffy goodness, but on the other hand I'll be moving on to an area where I think I actually have at least _some _grasp on that darn timeline. The quote at the beginning is actually from book eighteen, but no particular spoilers otherwise. Warnings for, er, the stupid title...? Also, _huge _thank-you's to Inorganic-Pain and Yami no Tenshi chan. Your reviews were both wonderfully encouraging and also very inspiring; there will eventually be a chapter dedicated to each of you using the ideas ya'll gave me :) (happy tears) I may not have many readers, but they're so great... XD

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**Chapter Six: **Stay

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_That's right... As long as I'm by your side, nothing bad will happen to you! If you ever feel confused, whether in mind or body... I will be by your side..._

* * *

The years passed. Katan grew slowly into adolescence, but Rosiel just seemed to grow tired... Rumors grew, too, claiming that Alexiel had decided to fight for Hell. All the angels could feel war in the air, now, thick and oh-so-heavy with potential.

The rumors had begun after the battle in Gehenna. In the actual battle Heaven had been victorious, incurring hardly any casualties, but then the angels who had been left behind to search out any survivors had been attacked by a mysterious warrior - and she had slaughtered almost the entire platoon. The few who had survived had described her in their official report as a woman with long black hair who hid her face and carried a double-edged sword, but the whispered gossip that surrounded the weapon made it out to be rather more significant than that...

Katan took in these rumors with personal disinterest; his only concern was for how they must be affecting Rosiel. The elder angel was still as strong and certain as ever in public, but when they were alone Katan would notice how his shoulders stooped, how he would sometimes stop in his work to rest his head in his hands... Sometime, like now, he would stare out the window in a dull brown study, oblivious to everything around him, and Katan felt an odd pang of loneliness as he wondered whether the man would notice even if the world ended.

"Rosiel-sama," he repeated for the third time, tentatively taking a step inside the room.

"Go away-!" Rosiel snapped, making the boy jumped, as he turned to face him. His mouth went slack the moment he saw who it was, however, and a pained grimace warped his face. "Oh, Katan - I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," Katan said soothingly, smiling. "I apologize for startling you."

Rosiel watched him for a moment, before sighing and combing his long hair back and out of his face. "Very well. What is it, then?"

Katan bowed his head respectfully. "I was sent to inform you of a meeting of the other high angels that is set to begin in half an hour. I believe it concerns a rumored group of Gehennan survivors, but I was not given any specific details."

Rosiel nodded, and made to get up, but then he was still. Katan looked up curiously, and found that he was staring off into middle distance once again... After a moment's hesitation, he stepped further into the room, and Rosiel didn't speak as the young cherub moved around the desk to his side. Katan took his hand in his, and Rosiel's eyes focused on him again in vague surprise at the childlike attempt at comfort.

"I could tell them that you're feeling ill," Katan suggested, speaking softly because he was afraid that it might be too presumptuous of him. Rosiel just smiled wearily, however.

"No, I will go to the meeting," he decided. "But, Katan-" He reached out with his free hand to touch Katan's face as he spoke, and his fingers trembled as he did so. He sighed again, and the sweet smell of him washed over the boy just before he found himself being caught up in the great angel's arms. "I think I may have to fight her soon... my sister... and... I'm sorry..."

He really wanted to ask what for, but he was distracted and forgot, distracted because Rosiel felt smaller than he should have in his arms, and as fragile as a china doll... He smiled, however, and closed his eyes. "It's okay. It will be alright," he promised, as he often did.

**TBC**


	7. Purpose

**Disclaimer:** If an innocent fanfic writer is attacked in a forest by ignorant lawyers who thought she was actually somehow making a profit, are they still wrong?

**AN: **Yeah, and I'm trying really hard not to steal anything from Cairnsy's fic 'How Angels Fall', either. It's an _obscenely _great fic about this time in Katan's life, but nevertheless I swear I didn't nick the idea from it. I mean, you knew I'd have to write a part about this time eventually, ne? It kind of can't be helped... So I tried to take a somewhat different perspective on it, and also advertised for her for good measure :) More quotes from the poem in book nineteen, spoilers for, erm, book one, no warnings. Maybe I should stop mentioning warnings unless there actually _are _some...?

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**Chapter Seven: **Purpose

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_Inside this miniature garden of asphalt, I continue to deny myself what I desire. My hands can no longer hold you, how I pray of wanting to be near you..._

* * *

The day after Rosiel and Alexiel's grand battle, Katan's home was in a state of upheaval such as had not been known since the fall of Lucifel. Alexiel's lifeless body had been whisked away to some secret location, even Katan didn't know where, for safekeeping. There was nothing left to save of Rosiel, and angels cried openly in the halls of Heaven.

The demons, meanwhile, were also enraged, but few had been brave enough to stay and fight after their great leader had been killed; their army was simply too small, because the many factions of Hell refused to fight together. Unfortunately, it looked like Heaven could be headed that way, too, as Rosiel had left behind no subordinates who possessed anywhere near his skill or prestige. Katan knew he should be out there right now, knew that no one else could come as close as he could to deciding what Rosiel might have done, and yet the thought was totally incomprehensible to him.

He hadn't been badly wounded, though the battle had shaken the seven layers - in other words, he hadn't been able to do a thing to help. He couldn't seem to do anything now, either; he couldn't even sleep, even though he'd been lying in bed ever since. He was a cherub, he kept thinking dully. That was one of the highest angel ranks; he should've been able to do _something_. He could never do enough...

He could feel his mind buckling under the strain in the darkened room. He wouldn't accept that Rosiel could be gone forever, or couldn't accept; doing so would surely be the death of him. He simply had no purpose without Rosiel, and the moment he believed that there was no chance of seeing him again, there would be no reason not to kill himself then and there.

_And_, hissed a nasty little voice in the back of his head, _you promised him that everything would be okay. _He covered his mouth with his fist to keep from crying out... He had, he realized, a duty to protect Rosiel no matter what because of that. It was a duty he'd taken on of his own free will, but he didn't regret it. The only problem was, this time, he'd failed...

He had no idea how long he lay there, not eating or speaking to anyone who tried to get in. Perhaps they thought he'd died, and would eventually break down the door, but until they did he wouldn't care. It seemed that he had really, truly failed, but he couldn't cope with that, and so he began to come up with alternatives...

It was true that Alexiel had not actually _killed_ Rosiel, but she had sealed him away so thoroughly that Katan didn't see how he could possibly free him. It did not hit him all at once, but snuck over him softly and quietly, that nevertheless there was really nothing else he _could_ do. He told himself that he still had hope, after all. He would search through all the books in existence, even the books that were supposed to be reserved for the supreme leader of Heaven if he had to, until he found a way to break the curse. Gradually, this plan helped him to wad his pain up tight enough to shove it back into the back of his mind, so that he could get up again. Deep down, though, he was just as scared as ever.

**TBC**


	8. Red Moon

**Disclaimer: **I'm holding the rights hostage until you give me ice-cream!

**AN: **(sweatdrop) Been a while, ne? (bow) I'm really sorry! The thing is, the last chapter was the last of everything I'd written before I'd started posting. I've got a couple other stories I'm working on right now, too (I said I wouldn't let this happen...), so the next one might take some time as well (though hopefully not this long!). Sigh... But on another note, this chapter is hereby dedicated to Yami no Tenshi chan! I couldn't get your suggestion out of my head once it got in there, so I wound up fitting it in a lot sooner than I'd been expecting to :) Now for some facts: first of all, yes, Elrik is the boy from chapter three - and _yes_, I did nick the name from FullMetal Alchemist :D Awesome show, peeps, if you haven't seen it you're missing out. Also, some people might not know this - I'd only heard of it a few years ago - but the Harvest Moon isn't the only moon with a name; they all have one. It's a little most complicated than this, but basically the 'Red Moon' is the name of the full moon that comes before the Harvest Moon. Honestly, now, _Red _Moon, how could I pass that up? And one more thing! (over-compensating...?) If anyone's curious to read some of Kaori Yuki's other works, here's a MARVELOUS site: http / sakuracrisis . ukepile . com / (take out the spaces, o' course). May I recommend Boys Next Door? Enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter Eight: **Red Moon

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_Seas dyed the color of zinc... Wind turned into gunpowder smoke... Forests turned to yellow desert... Thou, who would burn the heavens..._

* * *

It was two in the morning, one of the darkest hours of the day. Even the earliest risers would still be abed at this time, and there was no entertainment available in Heaven of the variety that went on much past midnight. All things considered, Katan thought, he might just be the only angel in the whole layer still awake.

He sat at a table in the library with a pile of books before him and, beyond them, a small army of brightly burning candles, but he did not read. He slouched slightly in his chair, head thrown back, in a seemingly relaxed pose, but he didn't sleep, either. His eyes were locked unblinkingly on the shadowy rafters, though it was doubtful that he was actually seeing them.

(The boy we see here has changed a bit, since that mythical battle between siblings that rocked the worlds. His aging has slowed to a crawl, these past few centuries, for he is nearly an adult now; soon the process will stop altogether, and he will be locked into his present form for the rest of eternity. Fortunately, he has grown into an exceptionally beautiful man. His sole flaw, people would say, is his eyes. They contain some kind of incredible distance or intensity, even as he speaks so politely - and on top of that, they are rimmed with tired dark circles.)

Eventually some thought seemed to rouse him, and Katan sighed heavily before sitting up straight. He eyed the books for a few moments before shaking his head slightly - a disappointed gesture - and standing up with a small moan at how stiff he'd gotten. He wasn't exactly sure how long he'd been here, but he had watched the sun go down through the library windows.

He extinguished all the candles save one, which he carried with him to show him the way through the silent halls. His quarters were spartan for the most part, but he did have a small stove, and he put water on it now for coffee. Though he was done reading, he knew that it really wasn't worth even trying to sleep tonight.

Once the coffee was done, Katan took a seat at his small table and watched the liquid steam for a bit. He had a balcony that probably would have been more appropriate for late-night meditation, but he just didn't quite feel up to looking at the beautiful full moon that currently presided over this layer.

He had looked through so many books... so many years... It wasn't as if he'd been incapable of finding any answers in all this time. He'd found _one _way to save his master ages ago, but... as much as he wanted to see him again, he'd kept looking, he couldn't possibly...

Katan rested his forehead on his palm, seeking some response in the depths of his coffee. The funny thing was, he'd actually spent more of his life without Rosiel than with him. It seemed so odd to him...

He took a sip of the warming drink, and hummed softly to himself as it worked to sooth his muscles. But then again, the time he'd spent without Rosiel certainly hadn't been as _important_, he reflected. It couldn't possibly have been, when he was just working for the next time he would see him, without any care for the present. Even just seeing Rosiel for an instant had consumed him enough for him to spend his entire childhood working towards seeing him again - it had been a miracle that he'd even had any friends during that time, and it certainly wouldn't have occurred to him on his own...

"_Hey! What's your name?"_

_Katan stared at the speaker for a long moment over the top of his textbook. He had heard that some people might actually start a conversation with such a cliché line, but he never would have believed it... Yet here was this boy, cocky as anything with a huge grin, hands on his hips, blaring it out for the whole bustling common room to hear. The blond boy smiled nervously. "It's Katan..." He looked at the mysterious other party expectantly; so rude, too, to not give his own name first, really shocking..._

_The boy smiled appreciatively. "Huh. That's a kind of old-fashioned name, isn't it? That's cool. My name's Elrik. I just got transferred from Blue Quad; they decided that I'd be better for the civil servant track than the techs' after all." He glowed with pride. "Come to the vids with me."_

_It didn't sound like a request; Katan arched an eyebrow, and looked back down at his book, feeling mildly irritated. He was new - that must be the problem. Even though they were only third years, everyone else had already long since given up trying to talk to him... "I don't go to the vids," he stated, trying to sound as pointedly preoccupied as was possible within the bounds of propriety. Elrik remained cheerfully oblivious._

"_What do you mean? Everybody's going tonight, they're showing something really great. Come on! Homework's so boring-"_

"_Not really," Katan said placidly, turning a page._

_Elrik threw up his hands in dramatized exasperation. "Fine! I'll stay here and do homework with you, then, and maybe you can show me what's so great about it." At Katan's shocked stare, the mischievous grin returned. "I don't have anyone else to go with, so it really wouldn't be any fun. Everyone else already has friends, you know... Why don't you have anyone - because you're always studying like this?" Katan started to scowl, but Elrik hurriedly continued: "I mean, most people want to hang out with someone who can make them laugh, and they don't really care about anything else. If you don't say what's on your mind, quickly and in a clear voice, they'll lose interest. But I'm not going to be like that - we'll be real friends, you and I!" The look of determination in his eyes, Katan noted, bordered on maniacal..._

Now, as he swirled the last of his coffee around in his mug, Katan smiled softly at the memory and permitted himself to close his eyes. What had happened to Elrik, anyway? During those first few weeks, he'd done everything he could to deter the alien presence in his neatly ordered life, but in spite of his best efforts, they'd somehow wound up becoming inseparable companions. After he'd been appointed as Rosiel's aid, he'd lost track of the boy...

Katan's eyes flickered back open as got to his feet, to slip soundlessly across the floor to the balcony doors and through them. The moon was so huge tonight... August's full moon, he thought vaguely, which meant that the next one would be... be...

_Why does everyone stare at the moon, anyway? It's dead inside._

He bowed his head, clenching his eyes tight. Perhaps he shouldn't have looked after all. It had occurred to him as he looked at the moon - or perhaps he'd already known, really? - that even such a fond memory didn't make him even slightly interested in finding Elrik again. This knowledge sat in the pit of his stomach like a death sentence - but for whom...?

_Such a beautiful moon, though..._

**TBC**


	9. Beautiful

**Disclaimer: **Angel Sanctuary is mine like hamburgers are made of ham... oh, wait...

**AN: **-.o; Wow, don't all review at once... Lack of reviews makes me sad like this: T.T C'mon, I know ya'll have been reading it! Is it really that hard to just write 'nice story'? Unless, _uh_... -.-; Shutting up now. (muttermutter...) On another note, if anyone's wondering why I didn't write anything about the time when Katan was passing out the 'Angel Sanctuary' discs - actually, I did. Except, I wrote it before I decided exactly what I was going to do with this story, and I posted it as a one-shot called 'Lambs'... feel free to read it! -.-;; Incidentally, some actual warnings this time - for gore, violence, abuse, you get the picture... also, for excessive quoting from the manga, heh...

* * *

**Chapter Nine: **Beautiful

* * *

_If thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee... It is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than... be cast into everlasting fire._

* * *

Katan sat in a small, dark apartment - his home away from home for the past few months - with his head buried in his hands. He looked at first rather like a man trying to cope with the loss of a loved one - which was ironic, since he'd just (supposedly) regained one several hours ago. It was not actually a pose of mourning, however - for the moment, at least - he had too much to think about to afford _that_ luxury.

Rosiel baffled him, completely and utterly. They should have been in Heaven right now - right at this very moment, he could have been watching as Rosiel announced his miraculous return before a crowd of Heaven's most powerful angels... the look on the crazed Prime Minister's face was something he'd barely dared to dream about, before, but tonight he'd thought that maybe...

He couldn't understand how Mudo Setsuna could possibly be Alexiel, for one thing. True, there was something odd about the boy, but his aura was the textbook definition of normal - and more importantly, he didn't have a guardian angel. All the facts pointed to him being a complete nobody, and yet Rosiel was so convinced of the contrary that he had already... already murdered another... Katan's shoulders trembled once, twice, and he forcefully quelled the nausea that the very thought of a golem brought on. He couldn't believe that his master was capable of turning a human, however sinful, into such a vile creature...

Katan desperately tried to put that thought out of his mind. But what if Mudo _was _Alexiel? After all this, he almost wished he was. But - he shuddered again - if Alexiel's soul really awoke, then what? If Rosiel were to be sealed into the earth again, Katan could only hope that he went down with him - although, he had thought that his lord had implied that he had a plan... Katan touched his cheek self-consciously, and winced.

He'd never known Rosiel to lash out like that, never. And then, to turn around and ask him, of all things, if he thought he was beautiful? Oh, it wasn't as if Katan hadn't heard that question before - he had always seemed so melancholic, those times, and would ask the question quizzically, with a baffled shake of his head at the young cherub's insistence... Katan ground his palms into his eyes - he was so tired - and he wondered why he also felt so lonely...

A movement caught his eye as he lowered his hands, and he seized on the distraction happily. His master had ordered him to hang back as a potential escape route while he set his plan in motion, and he had been watching the preparations in the warehouse shown on his viewing portal with growing unease. Rosiel had apparently meant to lure Setsuna there by using his sister as bait; the girl had been terrified, had been calling for him... Now, however, it seemed that the boy had arrived at last. Katan leaned forward in morbid fascination, as his master baited Mudo with cold words - testing his boundaries? Perhaps, if the boy was quick to anger, unleashing Alexiel would be easy - that didn't seem to be the case, however. Moreover, he saw right through Rosiel's disguise...

Katan grimaced as the golem attacked the boy from behind, forced himself to watch with a cool expression as the creature twisted the boy's arm off to a revolting cracking sound. This boy, he reminded himself, was not the young innocent that he appeared to be... surely... And the gang members that the beast turned on next - necessary losses... he felt ill...

"What's wrong?" he heard his lord wonder, clutching cruelly at Setsuna's dripping face. "Why won't you awaken? Discard this fragile, useless body... What's keeping you tied to this miserable corporeal world?"

_Sa... Sara..._

Katan watched as Rosiel raised a knife to the girl's face - and then he had to looks away, arms crossed tightly over his chest to hold himself together. "Should I peel her face like an apple?" _This is wrong... _"She'll still be alive... that way she'll feel the pain..." Setsuna screamed...

A flare of light snapped Katan's attention back to the screen - if Alexiel awakened, would this madness stop? - and his breath lodged in his throat. Not Alexiel - but who, then? Alexiel's aura, he knew, was war-like and terrible, whereas _this _feeling could lull one into an everlasting sleep - but with so much power, who else could it possibly be? Katan realized with a sick jolt that this being was even more powerful than Rosiel - he sought out his master, and found that his disguise had already been burned away in that blinding light. He opened the escape portal at once, and couldn't breathe properly until Rosiel was safely in his arms.

"Rosiel!" he choked. "What was that... that force...?"

"It was Adam Kadamon," Rosiel said grimly, glowering.

Katan's mind reeled. Adam Kadamon – the Holy Hermit – was the greatest of all angels, second only to God... for the boy to have access to such power... "This is too dangerous," he said, voice cracking under the strain. "We must leave this sphere at once-"

"That's enough!"

Katan tried futilely to grab Rosiel's hand as he turned away. "But-"

"I said that's enough!" Like a snake striking, a hand closed around his throat, effectively silencing him, and Katan was too shocked to struggle – or maybe Rosiel's cold smirk had frozen him in place. "_You _don't tell _me _what to do – remember that. I _will _expose Mudo Setsuna's true form... Don't you understand how essential that is?" Rosiel's eyes narrowed, and he thrust the cherub away from him; Katan's hand flew automatically to his bruised neck, but that seemed to be all he could do. "Not that that should matter to you. You should be willing to do whatever I ask, without question, or you're not worthy to do anything at all – isn't that right?"

Katan gawked at him for a moment, but then bowed his head in defeat. "Yes... of course... Rosiel-sama..."

The inorganic angel smiled sweetly at him; in context, it seemed almost macabre. "Much better. Now, you're free to do as you please until my next orders; I have some _friends _to meet..." Rosiel chuckled darkly as he disappeared.

Katan's small apartment gradually faded back into focus around him. He sank heavily into his chair, one hand still lingering on his throat. Such _sudden _rage, and so strong... Katan tried hard to remember ever even seeing Rosiel truly angry before, let alone being the _subject _of his irritation, and failed. As the initial shock wore off, he found that he was shaking. What had _happen _to his...?

He lowered his hand. _His master_. The only one who had ever been worthy of his complete devotion. If he didn't serve Rosiel, after all – why, he'd never done anything else in his life. He couldn't imagine it. _You should be willing to do whatever I ask, without question, or you're not worthy to do anything at all – _a twisted way of putting it, but really, it was true...

Not to mention, he added firmly, if Rosiel couldn't save Heaven then no one could. Resolved filled him; Rosiel was everyone's last hope – _his _only hope – and as such, he must follow him anywhere, no matter what. His throat gave an aching throb, but he ignored it. _No matter what..._

**TBC**


	10. Spinning

**Disclaimer: **(twitch) (giggle) So much... _coffee_...

**AN: **(crazed grin) You have no _idea_. I have to apologize for the serious crappiness of this chapter; I wrote it, and knew that it was really terrible even as I was writing, but I'm at a loss for how to describe this part better. Oh well - next chapter will be when Kiri shows up; I'm sure I'll be able to do something more interesting with that... -.-;; It's the caffeine, I swear. (giggle) But I'm fine, really! (twitch) Incidentally, yay, I got reviews last chapter! (grateful bow) I have not been completely forsaken after all, happy sniffle. (giggle)

* * *

**Chapter Ten: **Spinning

* * *

_If Alexiel were to reawaken, this time Rosiel will be... no... no... we cannot afford to lose Rosiel, out last hope..._

_Even if Mudo Setsuna is Alexiel, he is still human. It's not too late... It should still be possible for me to slay Alexiel!_

* * *

Soft, moist lips against his own... arms 'round his neck pulling him into a warm embrace... something hard transferred from one mouth to the other, sugary coating touching the tip of his tongue - _taste like betrayal..._

Katan, hidden in the shadow of an old tree, shuddered involuntarily. He mustn't dwell on such things, he chided himself. He must think... must make plans...

Not that there was really much to plan. The less thought put in to it, the better, just as long as he got it over with quick. He already felt as if he was in mourning for him - that carefree, reckless youth who life had been turned upside down through no fault of his own... nothing so terrible as to deserve this much punishment, anyway... Perhaps he recognized him as one of his own, a fellow angel, even in that impure mortal shell?

But none of that mattered, he thought firmly - for the good of the whole, Mudo Setsuna would have to die. He would wait in this place near his school until an opportunity presented itself, and would surprise him... if Mudo had no chance to react, then surely he would be safe from Alexiel...

He wondered grimly what Rosiel would do. He really couldn't understand what the great angel was planning at all. Obviously the ultimate objective was to destroy Alexiel - why allow her to awaken first? Doing it this way was so easy, so safe...

"_That's right. Follow your father's orders... Because if you don't, I'll pluck your wings one feather at a time until you're dead."_

His mouth turned down in a grave frown. No, there was no doubt about it - Rosiel would not approve of this. He would probably be furious. He didn't quite know _what _the man wanted, except for _him_ to stay out of sight and mind until he needed him again... Surely he would eventually realize how logical this was? With Alexiel gone, they could return to Heaven together at last...

Unless Rosiel didn't want Alexiel gone?

He approached this unsettling thought with caution. The relationship between those two was as mysterious to him as Rosiel's present state of mind - it existed in the murky time before his birth - but he'd always had the impression that Rosiel cared deeply for his sister, even after she had rebelled. Obviously being attacked by her had disturbed him greatly - enough to warp those feelings of love into feelings of hate? They said those were two sides of the same coin - or did he linger somewhere in between, uncertain even of what he himself wanted...?

All such thoughts were abruptly washed away in a wave of shock, as Katan felt a familiar aura - as familiar as his own skin - gathering power. And it was coming from just around the corner of the building - his heart sank, weighted down with dread - he abandoned his hiding spot to ascend to the roof in a split-second flurry of feathers and dashed to the edge, where he was fairly confident that he could observe without being observed.

It took a long moment for his stunned mind to make sense of the scene before him. He focused on Rosiel first, grinning terribly and still radiant with residual energy. Mudo was there too - and between them... red flashing sunburst... _no_... Mudo sunk to his knees beside his fallen best friend with a choked cry. Katan could only sigh - _really, Rosiel, how much more carnage-?_

_Whum. _The sound, he could swear, of molecules being ripped apart. There had not even been a second of warning...

The boy had three wings. In the midst of the following blast of light and sound and raw rage that made the spirits around him dance and die, Katan could see them clearly. Beautiful, just like his master's, so pure white that one who dared to look directly at them would be blinded. It really was her, Katan thought through a fuzzy sort of terror. The look of perverse joy on his lord's face did not escape him.

"Rosiel!" Alexiel greeted. "Didn't I tell you...? As long as you desire me, your reverse reflection, you can _never _have salvation. You will never be able to defeat me..."

As the war goddess lunged forward - as the holy sword delved deep into his master's chest - Katan couldn't help but smile, just a little. He was on the very verge of understanding... Rosiel took one step back - for a moment, the eye thought it was seeing double...

The inorganic angel laughed in a somewhat crazed fashion over his latest - late - puppet's dying moans. "Ha - you fell for it, big sister. Your present body has been stained with blood! You've become a murderer in this life, too! A fugitive from both Heaven and the world of the humans - at last you will feel the humiliation I endured when you sealed me in the earth for so very long...!"

Alexiel bared her teeth at him, but he was already gone. Was he really frightened of her, Katan wondered vaguely, or was it all for how annoyed he knew she'd be that he had escaped...?

And then everything was quiet. His master had gotten his wish - Alexiel was truly awakened at last - there was no turning back now...

Katan watched impassively as his master's twin, so fierce a moment ago, knelt beside the writhing boy and began the miraculous process of healing his soul, since it was clear that there would be no healing his body - and what on earth for? Out of the kindness of her heart? Because Setsuna's soul inside her demanded it? Ah... perhaps there was some light mixed in with her darkness, too... He turned away, suddenly tired, because it all made sense now.

His master didn't love her. He didn't hate her, either - he did both at once, the same way that, when you spun a coin fast enough, both sides became one. He would kiss her and kill her in the same moment - Katan had to laugh - because Rosiel was so good at that... And, he realized, no one must kill her but Rosiel himself, or the great angel would probably take the world down with him in his rage.

He should really return to him now - he was sure to have some kind of orders for him now, the cherub felt instinctively - but he had to take a moment to take it all in, laughing out loud at the bleeding irony. What was he to do, then? Rosiel would have his way after all. Was he just to stumble blindly after him, even when his mad obsession was causing the deaths of innocents...?

He sighed softly, and the sound was carried away on the copper-scented breeze. _Ah... what a pointless question._

**TBC**


End file.
